8 Rules for Roommates

Moving into a dorm or other student housings usually means living with a complete stranger in a space smaller than your childhood bedroom. This person may end up being your best friend or someone you are loath for the very core of your being. While hostility between roommates is sometimes due to simple personality clashes, it is usually the result of some easily preventable incident or bad habit. Here are eight of the most important rules for keeping peace between you and your roommate. These rules and anything else you feel strongly about should be clearly established as soon as you move in.

1). Don’t share food. Each roommate should have their own food in their own agreed-upon section of the fridge or cabinets. There are some exceptions to this rule (condiments, spices) but for the most part, sharing food is a bad idea. It is all too easy to finish off the last of the Pop Tarts and forgets to tell your roommate, which can lead to resentment. In addition, you want to avoid any situation in which one roommate feels like they are shouldering more of the financial burden; keeping food separate will help to ensure that one roommate isn't paying for more of the groceries. This isn't to suggest that you can’t cook together or share a meal, but make sure that the cost is more or less evenly split.

2). Divide household tasks. Depending on the situation, this may be a simple case of “You clean up your mess, I’ll clean up mine.” However, if there are certain chores, one roommate detests and the other doesn't mind, consider dividing up labor by the task. If you hate washing dishes but don’t mind cleaning the bathroom, offer to make that arrangement. The important thing is to arrive at a clear agreement early on and to stick to your part of it. Anyone who has to clean up after their roommate eventually becomes resentful.

3). Be aware of volume. Making too much noise is a great way to make an enemy out of your roommate. It is particularly important to be quiet when your roommate is trying to sleep, regardless of the hour. You may think that no one should be asleep before 10:00 pm on a Friday night, but that’s no excuse to wake them up. Be especially careful about inviting over friends without telling them that they need to keep it down.

4). Respect the private space. This is particularly important in a dormitory situation with a shared bedroom. Figure out exactly where your space ends and your roommate’s begins-there should be no ambiguity here. Then both roommates need to respect how the other manages their own space. If you are a neat freak, and your roommate decides to keep her side of the room a mess, that’s her business. As long as it doesn't become a hygienic issue, don’t try to control how your roommate manages her own space.

5). Establish alone time. Even the most social of people need some time to be alone. In a shared room or dorm, the best way to manage this is to just be aware of your roommate’s schedule. If you know she will be in Chem 101 at 10:00 every day, use that as an opportunity to have some time to yourself. If your schedules absolutely don’t allow for time alone in your place, just have an honest talk with your roommate. Odds are they will be equally aware of the need for privacy and will be OK with making themselves scarce every once in a while, provided you do the same.

6). Don’t hog the bathroom. Those of you with sibling know how fast someone can lose their cool over this issue. Even if you are lucky enough to live a dorm or apartment with en-suite bathrooms, you will probably have to share with your roommate. Take quick showers and don’t spend longer than necessary in the bathroom. If you are applying makeup or styling your hair, do it in your bedroom or sleeping area rather than the bathroom. If you know that your roommate has work or class earlier than you, consider being the bigger man and letting him go first. 

7). Respect your roommate’s choices. This is another way of saying mind your own business. Let’s say, for example, that you disapprove of premarital sex. That is your right, but it shouldn't prevent your roommate from having someone spend the night if they choose. As long as it doesn't affect your own safety or security, it isn't your place to comment.

8). Speak up about problems. Even if you and your roommate become instant best friends, there will be issues. Since sharing a small space with another person is such a potentially volatile situation, it is important to address problems before they escalate. If you keep finding your roommate’s dirty socks everywhere, the correct response is to calmly and politely ask him to tidy up as per the agreement you established when you first moved in. What you DO NOT want to do is try to ignore it, clean up after him, or leave nasty notes. If your roommate asks you nicely to stop doing something, be an adult and listen.

For the vast majority of cases, these rules will keep you and your roommate happy with your living situation. There are some exceptions; we all know someone with a roommate from Hell story, but those are few and far between. Stick to these rules, and you’ll be able to make the very best out of living in a shoebox-sized dwelling with someone you just met.