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Getting Married in College: The Pros and Cons
Although many people may look down on such young marriages and think that they are doomed to fail, it is surprising how successful these marriages can be. There are both advantages and disadvantages to everything and the same applies to getting married while in college. We will tackle the pros and cons in this article. Pros ~First of all, we all know how couples tend to put off marrying just because of the huge expense it involves. The wedding expense can be quite substantial, but actually living together after marrying, is not. Combining income and sharing some stuff can really result in money savings. This way, married couples can get rid of duplicate items and having more space too. ~Another positive aspect is that most colleges grant married students financial aid. Isn’t this cool? ~We all know that whatever your age is, it is possible that you will have fertility problems. But trying out for a child when you are in your early 20s creates a higher chance for fertility than when you are in your 30s. ~When a couple gets together and marry when they are older, they are very likely to have missed on important events or crucial situations in each others’ lives. This can be graduation, a difficult family situation, financial problems, getting your very first new car and others. By sharing such joys and sorrows together when still at a young age can help two people to grow together and mature together. This can even bring them closer. ~College time is a time for discovery to most students. They start to think seriously about what they want to be when they grow older, whether they like to have a family first or a career, where to live, and other important decisions that one will face in adult life. Having a companion to discuss such things with can be nice. As this might also be a stressful and lonely time to go through, with so many expectations and decisions to make, it is comforting to have a partner to talk to. Cons ~We know how study time can be stressful and tough on students. Balancing between marriage and studying can make things worse. However, this totally depends on the couple. ~Getting married is a big event in a person’s life. It involves getting used to a new lifestyle too. Facing such a big change while you are already into so much stress with your studies can make it too much to take. ~College experience sometimes involves getting crazy and letting lose. I am not saying that this is always a good thing to do, but if you do it in a limitless way, it can make college life even more interesting. Being married, you will surely miss out on such experiences. ~Sometimes parents might not agree with such decisions of getting married while still in college. Most parents seem to have planned their children’s lives already in their minds from the moment they are born. Giving them such news might hit hard as this most probably wasn’t on their plan. Although it is your life and you have the right to decide what you want to do, some students prefer to have the blessings of their parents when they are marrying. Therefore, this can cause some sort of problems with parents if one goes through with it. ~You have more distractions when you get married and you seem to have more responsibilities too. This can take quite a chunk of the total things that your mind can take at one point in time and might cause more stress too.
Sat, 2011-08-27 15:42#2
I met my wife when she was in
I met my wife when she was in college and I was "taking some time off" after a disastrous freshman year. We were both twenty at the time. We moved in together fairly soon but didn't actually marry until eight years later. For us, the time we spent together before we were actually married was lived very much like a married couple, and I was there for her graduation, and her for my stepfather's funeral, and so on. It has been great to have that companionship. It is not necessary to get married to have that type of support, but sometimes families expect it if you live together. Now I am back in school and two years married, and I do feel that being married (and ten years older) does set me apart from other students, but for me being married is all pros.
Sun, 2011-09-04 22:30#3
Don't do it
Getting married while in college for a couple that are truly in love will have the deck stacked against them and if it is true love it can definitely wait till after graduation. Marriage brings more responsibility and while you are in college you have a pretty full plate of responsibility. In today's times a man and woman living together and not married is quite popular and very helpful in establishing each other's boundary of their relationship that can be easily apply it to a marriage. Marriage also happens to be a contract and at this point in your life with college you need to have another contract. Make a verbal agreement and have fun.
Sat, 2011-09-24 03:58#4
Wow, well I saw so many
Wow, well I saw so many dysfunctional relationships in college that the idea of marriage while still in college seems a little far stretched to me. College, I think, somehow brings out the insecurities in people even more. I used to see couple who were only casually dating, argue about all sorts of things. I can only imagine how it would be for a married couple. I am not against the idea. I think if two people really do want to get married, they should. Personally, I don't think it is good idea. I think college time is the time to grow individually.
Sun, 2011-10-30 21:48#5
I agree with navyatha. There
I agree with navyatha. There at a LOT of dysfunctional relationships in college. And for the most part these are always the people that talk about getting married right away (at least from what I've seen on my campus). However, if you are in a serious, committed relationship with someone you don't need to have the confirmation of a wedding ring to know that that person will always be there with you through the thick and thin of it all. From what I've seen the more mature and more committed the couple, the more they are okay with waiting until after college to get married and the more insecure and immature the couple, the more gung-ho they are about getting married while still in college.
Mon, 2011-10-31 04:30#6
Try getting divorced in college
I got married during my first stint in collge, got pregnant and had my daughter a year later. I had to drop my classes because I simply couldn't balance everything. I endured and barely lived through my daughter's first year. She had the circular breathing so she had this continuous scream. So here it is now, I had my son last year and since deciding on a divorce I found myself wanting to go back to college. I missed it. It was one of those unfinished dreams I had and I so badly wanted my degree. It was something I just simply wanted for myself. After such a thing happens, when you feel as though you have lost everything, doing something for yourself is mandatory to retain sanity. Joining the force of college students yet again has given me the ability to keep my head on straight, that I'm doing something positive for my kids-for myself so I can get a better job and be more independant. So I can pursue my dream of starting up my own editing business online. But it is difficult to maintain-although I do use it as a form of escapism at times, but at least its constructive escapism.
Wed, 2012-08-08 20:27#7
Ay ay ay. As someone on the
Ay ay ay. As someone on the verge of getting married, and still in masters this rang so true to me. My fiance and I have both already completed our undergraduate degrees, and are both fulltime professionals. Add that on top of my full-time masters course load, and it can be quite a bundle. Because of that we decided to skip the big, fancy wedding (although we could afford it) and instead plan for a small, intimate gathering with just our parents and very close friends. I think a lot of people really tend to romanticize getting married before realizing what it is really like. I know I did. All of these girls that I see on pinterest talking about their ideal wedding dress, and invitations and all that don't even have a boyfriend. Once you DO have a fiance, or a significant other and begin planning, you begin to realize just how much work it can be. That is something that I would really emphasize to people thinking of getting married while still in school. Sometimes it is not the relationship that can cause a strain, but the planning of a huge event. We had already booked the venue and a number of other things when we decided we want to keep it small. Don't make the same mistake!