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Remedies For Roommate Irritation!
It is funny that I met not even a handful of students that are actually satisfied living with their roommates. I think it is difficult to live with other people completely harmoniously. There will at least be a couple of differences. But, adjustment and respect is the name of the game when it comes to dorm life. So, added to the already difficult task of just co-existing harmoniously, if the person you are living with is inconsiderable, the task becomes almost impossible.
So, what’s the best thing to do when your roommate is irritating to you? Throw yogurt on their bed and trash their belongings, especially their clothes. WHAT? If that’s not enough, you can make a face book page about them and have everybody you know post bad and silly comments on their wall. LOL No, I am not a psycho and that is not what I did. But, it is a true story and it did happen.
Did the above remedy work? Yes, absolutely. The student who used that remedy hardly saw his roommate for the rest of the year. Now, should you take the offensive route such as the above? Of course not! The main reasons being - its morally wrong and second if the roommate hardly went to his room rest of the year, it means he was staying in somebody else’s room (In this case, unfortunately mine as the guy was my roommate‘s boyfriend). So, you will be just passing on your irritation to somebody else (like me).
I don’t want to get into the details, but it is not fun to listen to a guy snore all night. My dorm room was not big enough to fit two people in. It was difficult to live with an additional third person of a different gender who didn’t really belong there. I am an understanding person but definitely not a pushover. But, the problem was that the two were my friends (sort of). So, I was in a sticky situation. I neither could go to the RA nor just be upfront about how frustrated I was and tell them to arrange some other living situation. So, I made the worst mistake I could at that moment. I did nothing. I let my frustration build up to a point when I blew up on both of them and I probably was harsh in letting them how they irritated me through out the semester.
It definitely felt good to release all that frustration for a minute. But, I felt and I do still feel bad about how I handled the situation. If you are wondering, my roommate and I don’t talk anymore and I am pretty sure she detests me. Lol So folks, if your roommate is irritating you and even though he or she is your friend or an acquaintance, you should take action immediately. Talk it out and let them know sternly that they are being inconsiderate. That is one remedy. The problem is that people can be difficult sometimes and don’t like to change their ways even though those ways are causing someone else discomfort. So the second best option would be to go to the RA. It is a brash thing to do, especially if you are complaining about a friend. But from my experience, I realized that friendships don’t last with frustration building up.
The best remedy I think for roommate irritation is moving out. This is especially a good option if the roommate is your friend. It is better to just explain the situation and the
reasons for you taking the decision to move out to your friend or your roommate. A change from an environment which is causing stress and frustration in your life can be very refreshing. If I were to face a similar situation again, moving out without any grudges would definitely be my choice.
Tue, 2012-01-10 23:36#2
Be open and honest with your roommate!
I definitely agree with you when you say that you need to sternly talk to your roommate and let them know what is bothering you. Holding your anger inside definitely won't help anything! I was in a similar situation as you: my roommate would constantly have her boyfriend spend the night. I didn't really mind that there was a guy in the room, but it did annoy me, when I was trying to shower or change. It especially bugged me that he took up all her free time, and we didn't get to hang out at all anymore. For a month, I tried to ignore it and didn't say anything. Don't ignore the problem! I grew increasingly frustrated with her, and finally, one day, I decided to talk to her. I calmly told her that I wished we could spend a few nights without her boyfriend and catch up about girl stuff because he had been spending the night so often, and I was a little uncomfortable with it. To my surprise, she totally agreed with me that he had been around too much, and promised we'd spend more time together! Things have been great ever since. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I definitely agree that you should always talk directly to your roommate before involving anyone else, especially an RA. Things might go a lot better than you expect!
Sat, 2012-08-11 22:41#3
bad room mates
I agree with all of this. I've read so many "how to deal with room mates" articles. While the advice is solid and often good on paper, it often doesn't work. A lot of solutions only work if both people really want it to. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't know how to live with other people. Some people think that having a room mate (especially in an off campus apartment) is a great way to save rent while still living like they're on their own. Some people think they want a room mate but can't handle the little irritations of living with another person. Some people offer to move in with a friend and think it will be great hanging out 24/7 (like a never ending slumber party). Some people offer to let others move in with them to seem generous (or not like the bad guy), but actually resent having to share their space. Of course, some people are just inconsiderate. The worst room mate I ever had was one of these. She was extremely loud. Always blasting the music, shouting into the phone, arguing with her boyfriend, having her boyfriend stay the night, and inviting several people over well after the posted quite hours. When I asked her to keep it quite, she would yell "it's MY room". The only thing I could do was leave and feel sorry for the next person. Sometimes, it's clear the other person will never compromise. There's no sense trying to work out a clearly unworkable solution (especially if the RA isn't on your side).