Is Romance Dead in College?

It may often seem that romance and the dating rituals are suspended in college. There is the infamous break up between couples over Thanksgiving due to the long distance relationship becoming too difficult. There is also the insidious idea floating around that no one really dates in college, there is just hooking up. The latter statement is a generality, and like most generalities it is false. College students are not tired of romance, or finding their soul-mate, and by no means bored of developing lasting relationships. Any hints of the existence of a throng of heartless, emotionless collegiate men and women is either based on “loud stories,” or spoken by love-scarred pessimists. I heard a decent amount of stories about relationships forming in tutoring groups and student organizations, but I have heard too many of the same hook-up stories where the names change, but the facts stay the same.

In many aspects, dating and looking for romance in college is a challenge. I remember enjoying a very blissful summer full of romantic getaways with my boyfriend before we started college in the fall after high school graduation. Although we both worked, we had enough time to go on creative excursions and learn new things about one another at our own pace. A little farther down the line, I learned the difference between dating in high school and dating in college.

Romance in college takes on different appearances due to the structure of the college experience. Two months of dating in high school may not sound like much—after all, the couple does not spend that much time together. College on the other hand makes each relationship more intense. For one thing, couples can spend more time together: days, nights, plan their classes together, spring breaks, etc. It becomes apparent very quickly if the person you are dating is not for you. Likewise, if other priorities precede dating someone, it is more often than not a message that things are not working out.

Secondary adjustments are made as well. Many nights are often spent with a large group of friends, since there is no time in the day to spend time with each person individually. My experience has taught me that it is important to spend time together as a couple and in a group of people. For most, college dating does not give enough opportunity to bring a date home to mom, but our friends are often an interesting substitute. Although these hurdles exist, dating in college gives rise to many opportunities such as creative dates, study dates, formals, semi-formals, and attending college sponsored events. In many ways dating in college can be just as enjoyable and romantic as spending the summer before college together.

For some, being around many attractive people of the desired age group may foster feelings that relationships complicate things. Why would anyone have a relationship when hooking up and satisfactions of carnal desires can be easily attained? I cannot judge these choices, but I can say that trivial pursuits often leave more to be desired. Physical relationships that may last one night or four years are as far from romance as the North Pole is from Antarctica.

Those college students who wish to form relationships and harness romance must overcome many obstacles against relationships on college campuses. First, it is important that there is room in a busy schedule to be open to meeting new people. Not every single person you meet will be desired dating material. It is also important to be yourself. Life is too short to give a wrong impression to a worthwhile person. It must also be taken into consideration that fear of commitment and the desire of others to indulge in hook ups may be simply a result of fear of rejection culminated by a lack of experience and a bad self-esteem. Not everyone was lucky enough to have romance prior to the start of college. Most importantly, culminating a comfortable atmosphere of open communication is vital to forge meaningful relationships and lead fellow conversationalists to become more confident. Lastly, many first encounters have taught me that strangers will make their own impressions based on their ideas and past experiences with people. Sometimes it is important to remind others that you are one of a kind.