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When your parents wants to choose your major for you
Before choosing where you want to study, you first have to make up your mind on what major you choose. This is much more important than choosing the university you want to be into. As most say, your college life will most likely define your future, and of course your major plays a big role here. You may be a doctor, engineer, architect, businessman, IT etc. It all depends on your major. So choosing your major is really a crucial part of your college life. It is not usually a decision which you can do overnight. You have to seriously think about it.
There are times when your parents are too concerned for your future that they want you to take a sepcific major. They want it for you. Well, chances are it is not of your interest, or you never see yourself taking that major and being on that field. Yes we have to understand that they just want us to have a bright future and they believe that is by taking the major they want us to take. But don't they realize that pushing us to a major we don't really like will not help us succeed in life? I believe that we can do best and succeed only if we really love what you are doing. Imagine yourself studying the human body, a cadaver, but you really want to grab a pen and design a building. It is odd right? We know that they may be the one who provide for our education, but it is not a reason to for them to choose our major for us. It's like they are taking away our freedom to choose.
If you are in a situation like this right now (I am glad that I didn't experience this because my parents are open minded), I encourage you to weight things carefully. Is the major your parents is suggesting a good choice? Does it interest you (even just a bit) and do you think you will succeed in that field? Well if you think Yes, then consider taking the major your parents want so that you can avoid a misunderstanding. However if it does not really interest you, you can never imagine yourself taking that major, I believe that you should stand up and choose what you really want. Explain to them what major you want to take, in a nice way. I am sure they will understand. If not now, then perhaps sooner :)
Sun, 2012-05-27 16:37#2
follow your heart
I have been through those times and I can say that it was not easy at all. My mom, because my parents are divorced, wanted me to follow the steps of mathematics. I have been studying Math since my first grade, and I was one of the best children in class, but I felt that I had enough. It was time for me to explore. I did not take a year off, as she suggested and I went to the Faculty of Letters. I also applied to other five universities and got into all of them, but my heart wanted to follow the languages. My mom understood that only after my first year, when I graduated the first in my class, and even though I missed math from time to time, I was very happy with my choice. After the first year was over she told me I should start another faculty because this one had no future. Once again I went over her word and followed the same faculty until I graduated and became a teacher. She never doubted me again and admitted that she made a mistake. If you really have the passion in your soul, take advantage of it and it will all be just fine. Parents will love you no matter what, and after all, you can go to a second college, that is no big deal.
Sun, 2012-05-27 19:33#3
This is a very important
This is a very important topic of discussion. I think what we need to understand sometimes is the difference between advice and forced decisions. Sometimes, it seems like our parents are literally pushing things down our throats and do not give us the space to decide between the choices that we have. True, there are parents that force us to 'live their dreams for them' but there are also parents who genuinely care for our well being and try to guide us and give us advice especially when it comes to our career choices. I personally learnt that out of 'feeling grown and old enough to make your own decisions' anyone is likely to make mistakes that will cost you a lifetime...my mother helped me chose a career path for myself. At first I was reluctant to involve her in helping me make a decision as far as my own life is concerned. I now realize that if it was not for my mother's 'forceful' influence, I wouldn't have access to the kind of opportunities that I have today. On top of that, I realize that I am absolutely in love with what I am doing and I wouldn't give it up for anything. For this feeling of fulfillment in my life right now I owe my mom a whole lot...and I will forever be grateful for taking her advice into consideration...it was the best decision of my life... :)
Mon, 2012-05-28 01:43#5
Parents must play a role but they are not the ones to decide
I haven't personally been through this tough decision of choosing between the course that my parents like and what I want, but I do have a lot of friends who have experienced that. It wasn't too good for them, because it's rough doing something you're not interested in. I think there should be a balance between your parents' decision and yours. It's not all good when you choose your course on your own. There are instances when you're not exactly sure of what you want when you're applying for college, and your parents can be a lot of help in reaching a decision. Especially if they were always with you while growing up. They'll know what you're good at and your weakpoints. Having to choose your course all by yourself because you feel it is what you want might be insufficient in making this big decision. My parents have always been very supportive of me. They are passionate about business but they didn't interfere with my decision. I have realized that they should have persuaded me before I entered college. In all four years, I have been to three courses because I've been indecisive along the way. In the end, I took up what they wanted for me (Business Management) as my third and last course. Just three more months I'll be done with college! Shifting was such a troublesome procedure. Imagine all those units I had to throw because I wasn't happy with my course and it just frustrates me. So yeah, I guess your parents' opinions are things to consider.
Tue, 2012-05-29 21:16#6
My parents wanted me to
My parents wanted me to become a medical doctor. I have very high regards for that profession but I couldn't imagine myself doing that. Every time when I pass through the campus of a very famous hospital, I felt so grateful for the doctors and respect for their profession but knew in my heart that I am not the one who can see that much suffering and pain every day of my life (although I knew that I could help them with my degree!). So I flunked in the entrance exam that is needed to get admission to the medical school.
The next thing that my parents wanted me to do is to become a administrative officer in the government of my country. It is a prestigious position and a tough one to get through - the qualifying exams and the rigorous training following it! That also I dodged since I did not have it in my heart. I just followed my heart and took degree after degree that allowed me to do research in the field of biology.
My parents were not happy but after some time realized that I am going to do what I feel like, so they let me get away with it!
Wed, 2012-05-30 08:50#7
Also, most of the times
Also, most of the times parents think that they know their kids more than anyone! It is them who gave birth, changed diapers, took care of us, chose the school and so on, they tend to carry this mentality even into the adult lives of their children.
In my experience I have seen the cultural background doesn't factor into this. All parents, whether they are from Asia, Europe and US all the same when it comes to their over protectiveness of their children. I have seen parents from an European country who vehemently protested the choice of their daughters boyfriend! I have also seen parents who are cool and let their children chose whatever they want to do - whether it is education, travelling and chosing a life partner - and be ready to be always there for them when they need help.
As children what we can do is be proactive and ask for their advice and discuss everything about our choice, why we picked them and where we think it will take us. It might not help always - absolutely in my case as my parents feel that they need to be parents more than being friends - but at the least we know that we treated them fair.
Parents - sometimes you can not live with them but most of the time you cannot live without them too! ;)
Tue, 2012-07-03 18:08#8
I strongly feel that avoiding
I strongly feel that avoiding having your parents involved in any MAJOR decision of your life is a very good decision. I chose my highschool, I chose my college, I chose my degree, I chose my graduate school, and soon I will be choosing my PhD. Admittedly, my parents were there along the way to support me and my endeavors and they definitely tried to get me to do what they wanted me to do, but I think it's important to be able to do your own thing. Once you assume autonomy you assume real responsibility for your actions and they become real to you. If your parents choose your major for you, and you end up failing out of it, you could then just blame your parents. But, if YOU chose your OWN degree, you would have to be responsible for it, and make sure you did your best. I mean, you would probably have to do that anyway, but moreso if you chose it youself. Same thing goes for weddings, money, houses, and personal belongings; they are all better if you earn them for yourself with your own efforts. Having something handed to you, or decided for you makes it not yours anymore.
Sat, 2012-08-18 12:10#9
I can really relate to this.
I can really relate to this. My parents did not support my career choice at all. When I tried to tell them my plans, they acted like they didn't even hear me. They went along planning my life as if I didn't say anything. I was lucky enough to get a scholarship. Since money wasn't an issue, I pursued the major I wanted. Now, they can see the merits of my plan, but it wasn't easy. I think parents think they know what's best, and since they're used to planning things for their kids, this can feel like a normal thing to do. If you can't get a scholarship or grant, your options may be more limited. You might want to ask your parents why they want you to get the major they do. Maybe you can focus on the things they think are important and show them how you can achieve them with the major you want. You can tell them that the career you want to pursue requires the major you want. Sometimes, parents don't realize that college and the job market for certain degrees are different than when they went to school. They may be pushing you down the path that led to success for them. Ultimately, you have to do what will bring you success.
Fri, 2012-08-17 00:00#10
What Dad wants
I remember struggling with this for a long time as I grew up with a distant father. He would ask me what I want to do when I grow up, and I would say things like "I want to write songs" or "I want to be a choir conducter." He would nod and tell me to do what I want, but I always felt a nagging sense of doubt, as if he believed I couldn't really achieve what I desired. I would change my answer or be ambivalent, saying "I think engineering is a stable choice, I don't know how reliable music is going to be in the long run." He would seem pleased by this, but deep down I knew it was wrong to just try and make him happy if I was to end up miserable. Now I look back on that time and think of how much time I wasted trying to satisfy him, instead of focusing on what made me happy. I know now that I highly value family, and that my silly attempts to please Dad were a result of me needing to have a complete family. Now I know that, and I can go forward with my studies. My family is going to get everything I have when it comes to supporting what they love, even if it comes at a contrast to what I think is best, because deep down, we all need that fulfillment that only comes from doing what you love.
Tue, 2013-01-29 03:39#11
Do a Little Digging!
Great read. On that note, as valuable as a major in business administration might be, if you're heart is not set on the task of studying the discipline, you may find your education experience a bit lacking. I'm not speaking from the perspective of enjoyment, but from one of practicality. People work harder at doing what they love. It's a natural bodily tendency. You will develop talents within areas in which you wish to foster talent. If you're heart is not set on the tasks and pleasures of business. Praise-worthy presentations to the board,wearing slick corporate suits, having that corner office, and golf with the boss on sundays, then you won't work as hard for these things as the people who want them. Instead if you wish to create, or you wish to help the sick or needy, of if you wish to examine rocks in distant lands, if this what you dream yourself doing, and have done the research to learn exactly what your dream job entails, then pursue a major focused upon that discipline instead. I feel every college student should know their trajectory in life before they even step foot into the university. Not the scripted ones either, don't try and be the typical doctor, lawyer, or accountant, because thousands of just as uncreative and unresourceful people are pursuing the same thing. Be industrious and do your research.